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A Bad Idea 70

Melissa Klaw lounged on the sofa, her three right arms hanging off the side. Her upper left hand rested on her forehead, her middle left hand rested on her stomach, while her lower left hand rested on her leg. The upper right hand mirrored the lower left hand, in that they weren’t hands in the most traditional sense. Instead, they were more akin to blades — five sharp blades where fingers might’ve been.

“Pew pew pew!” Theo her son yelled, running around the family’s living room. For a brief moment he had human legs, the arms and body of an airplane, and the head of a shark, but that was constantly changing.

“Oh god,” she said, turning to look at her son for a second. She sighed. “Syfy is a blight on society. Completely unrealistic aliens, and now my son’s turned into a Shark Plane.”

“Now I’m a television!” Theo’s body shifted shape so that he looked just like a TV station, with flashing lights and rapidly changing channels.

“George!” she yelled. “George-y! When’s that new butler coming?”

“The Golden Man?” Melissa’s husband George said, coming into the living room. His right shoulder was covered with icicles, out of his left shot flames. His right eye was blue, his left red. “Should be pretty soon.”

“Thank god,” she said. “It’s bad enough that we have to live on this planet, but not even having good help? God, what would the Martians back home think!”

“Guys! Guys!” Theo yelled, his voice coming from his television speakers.

“Yeah, son?” George said.

“I’m an octopus!” Sure enough, he shapeshifted into an octopus.

Melissa gave Theo a look, a ‘Son if you don’t stop turning into sea creatures you’re never going to watch the Syfy Channel again’ look. Theo shifted back into human form, which made Melissa smile.

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