“Someone stole your whip,” Matthew said, making his way into Whip’s apartment. He almost stepped on the dildo, which had been left near the doorway, right where Anne’s girlfriend had been struck.
“I told you that on the phone, Sherlock.”
“Just re-stating the facts of the case,” Matthew said. “Feel a little naked without my costume on.”
“Feel more clothed when I’m naked than when I wear mine,” Whip said, which was funny, since her costume was basically two nipple pasties.
“Show me where the crime happened, would you?”
“Alright,” Whip said. “That’s where my girlfriend got struck by the dildo.”
Matthew nodded looking down at the dildo. “That’s big.”
Whip cracked a huge smile.
Matthew sighed. “Say whatever you want to say.”
Whip shook her head. “That’d be too easy.”
“And I just want to verify. It wasn’t you who struck your girlfriend with the dildo?”
“You and I were married, Matt!” Whip said. “Have you ever known me to… Yeah, okay, so that’s something I would do. But I didn’t.”
“Alright,” Matt said, hunched over the dildo, squeezing it at various spots.
“You might not want to touch that,” Whip said. “It’s been a lot of places.”
Matt shook his head. “I’m gay, Whip. That doesn’t mean I’m afraid of vaginas. Just means I don’t like them. I’m entirely okay with touching something that’s touched a vagina.”
“Hasn’t just been in vaginas.”
“Oh, fuck you,” Matt said, taking his hand off the dildo and backing away several steps.