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A Terrible Idea 38

Caine’s job was to be obnoxious enough to distract the guards. This role he took on with pleasure.

He hung around the three prep school kids, relishing their every vapid thought and trying to determine how best to cause a scene.

Their thoughts gave him so many ideas. For instance, you had Mac, who was with his friends looking at The Eight Duplicate Excaliburs (time travel and a cloning machine caused a huge mess this one time; it’s a long story and not even a particularly good one, so don’t ask).

Mac’s stream of consciousness looked a little something like this: Is that a pimple? Shit. Stress acne? Probably. Shit. Mom warned me about stress acne. I probably should’ve listened instead of saying, “Fuck off, Diana.”

He was looking in the reflection of one of the swords, completely unaware of its significance (sure, the story about the Eight Duplicate Excaliburs was boring as shit, but it was a part of his world’s canon, a part of his world’s history. How had he not heard of Hamgoth the Horrible’s horrible crimes against the time stream? God, what a philistine.)

Caine noted the boy’s insecurity. He also noted Raquel’s stream of consciousness, which was a smidge more lascivious. Look at that ass, she thought, starting at Mac’s ass while he worried at his reflection in the Duplicate Excalibur. What an ass, she thought.

Joan’s stream of consciousness was a little less scandalous than all that. You see, she’d skipped breakfast that morning. So she was all, Man, I shouldn’t have skipped breakfast this morning and Man, I’m totally ready for lunch.

To cause a scene, Caine acted on the most pertinent thought he could find. He put his hand on Raquel’s shoulder and said, “Doesn’t that kid have a fine ass? Why, it reminds me of his mother’s ass, which I used to fuck all the time!”

Raquel looked at Caine, Mac looked at Caine, Joan looked at Caine. Yep, Caine was causing a scene. All according to plan.

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