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A Terrible Idea 18

The first slide of Jennifer’s presentation showed a small snowy island with the words, “Newtok, Alaska,” written under it.

Caine cupped his big fat hands over his mouth, yelling, “Fuck Alaska!”

Jennifer chose to ignore him. “For a time, Newtok was in danger of becoming completely submerged underwater, because global warming was melting the Alaskan permafrost.”

“Fuck global warming!” Caine yelled.

Jennifer continued to ignore him, though this time her displeasure was noticeable. “This all changed fifteen years ago, when an ice-controlling metahuman came to the island and re-froze the permafrost.”

The next slide showed the metahuman: a tall blue man with a white goatee and wild eyes.

“When Frost first came to Newtok, he was seen as a savior,” Jennifer explained. “Some of the locals worshipped him, and last month the island tried breaking away from The United States, in order to install Frost as their grand leader. Obviously, we couldn’t allow this precedent to be set.”

A new slide. This one showed Galactic Man wearing his dashing fucking smile. Anne thought to herself, God, I wanna punch that motherfucking motherfucker in his motherfucking face.

On the bright side, you’ve gotta give her points for having a passion.

“Galactic Man’s mission was simple: to find Frost, talk to him, and try convincing him to keep Newtok from attempting a revolt. Failing that, he was to extract Frost, bringing him back to MA headquarters. That…” Jennifer’s next slide showed the village of Newtok in flames. “Did not happen.”

“He blew it up?” Vanisher asked, shocked.

Jennifer nodded. “He’s gotten increasingly violent recently, but this was thirty-two casualties, most of them innocent civilians.”

“This wasn’t on the news, though?” Anne said. “Shouldn’t this have been on the news?”

“We covered it up, but we won’t be able to cover up this sort of thing for much longer. That’s why we have to kill Galactic Man.”

“Fuck Galactic Man!” Caine yelled.

“Fuck Galactic Man,” Jennifer agreed.

“Fuck Galactic Man,” Anne muttered.

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