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A Worse Idea 101

The buckshot flew out of Haley’s gun, straight in Dani the Blood Wraith’s direction. Of course, the fact that you can see wraiths doesn’t mean that they can be touched on the physical plane. For this reason, the buckshot passed right through Dani the Blood Wraith.

The buckshot pellets went through Dani, only to hit Stacy the Not-So-Scary Scarecrow. Stacy the Not-So-Scary Scarecrow — being made of straw, cloth, wood, and rope, as most scarecrows are — came apart.

Some of the pellets ripped through her wood arms. Others hit at the rope and the straw and the cloth. Straw poured out of Stacy’s shirt. She crumpled to the ground. Her pitchfork fell with her.

Of course, cloth, straw, and rope don’t do much to stop the buckshot, which meant that it drove through Stacy and into Bingo the Clown, who was right behind Stacy.

Bingo the Clown was made of flesh, blood, and chainsaws. The chainsaw hands were still on the door handle. Everything had happened so quickly — in the span of a couple seconds — that he hadn’t processed it yet.

The buckshot pellets ripped through flesh and bone. The force of the impact pushed him forward, forcing his chainsaw hands through the door. One of the pellets hit a nerve in Bingo, and that nerve turned on his chainsaw hands.

The chainsaw hands whizzed on, sawing through the door. The door opened into the house, and Bingo fell with the door.

Haley was shocked that her bullet hadn’t hit Dani the Blood Wraith. Realizing she needed to regroup, she slipped a picture out of her pocket. It was her dog, who was currently sitting at home. The picture allowed her to teleport to him.

Dani the Blood Wraith, turning around and realizing that her target, Stacy, had already been killed, smiled. She flew away.

That left Bingo, the Clown with Chainsaws for Hands. He coughed up blood. It dribbled on his chin, and onto the floor.

Twenty minutes later, Croconator swam back to his little shack by the bayou. When he got within range, he saw the dead, bloody clown with chainsaws for hands, lying next to a bunch of loose straw.

Nah, he thought. He went back in the direction he’d come from, leaving his house forever.

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