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A Bad Idea 147

Anne looked wide-eyed at Shade.

Shade looked back at Anne, pointing at the door. She mouthed the words, “Get it.”

“What?” Anne mouthed, no sound coming out.

“Get,” Shade mouthed, making a door-opening motion, “the door.”

“No.” Anne was fucking terrified.

“I’m taking care of the body,” Shade mouthed, making the motion of slinging a dead body over her shoulders. “You can get the goddamn door.”

Another knock on the door.

“Ma’am, this is campus police,” the voice on the other side of the door said. “Is everything alright in there?”

Shade nodded her head towards the door.

“Peachy,” Anne yelled, unconvincingly.

“Your neighbors made a noise complaint. Said there were people yelling in here?”

Anne inched towards the door. “Ha, what? People yelling? No, no, no. That’s not what happened.”

While Anne talked to the campus police, Shade dragged David’s body into a shadow.

“That’s what people said happened.”

“Well, it’s not,” Anne said.

“Ma’am, I’d really like to come in.”

“I can explain why it sounded like people yelling.”

A pause. Then, campus police asked, “What?”

At this point, Shade teleported both herself and the body out of the room.

“I was listening to some weird music,” Anne said. “It was, uh, like a combination of Tibetan chanting and screamo. Look it up. It’s totally a thing.”

Anne knew the guy wouldn’t look it up. Campus police are by nature uncurious.

“I’m still going to have to come in,” the guy said.

“Well, you can’t!” Anne yelled. She ran to the bathroom to get all of her towels.

“Why can’t I?”

“I am incredibly naked,” Anne said.

“Well, put some clothes on,” the campus police said.

“What?” Anne said, pretending not to have heard the guy.

“I said, ‘Put some clothes on,’ ma’am. I’m coming in.”

“Lemme just,” Anne said, mopping some of David’s blood up with a white towel (subtle, Anne, subtle; seriously, if you’re going to keep this up, you should probably get towels that aren’t white) “get some pants on.”

For several seconds, Anne mopped up the blood with the towel.

Finally, the campus police said, “I’m coming in.”

“You can’t!” Anne yelled. “That’s against my rights!”

She started panicking. These towels were so bloody, but they weren’t enough. They couldn’t soak up all the blood.

Without thinking, she picked up the laser saw. Applied it to her side.

“You’re a college student,” the guy said, taking out his key card, which opened just about every door on campus. “You have no rights.”

Anne fell over. Pain immense. Could barely think. Her blood mixed with David’s.

“Oh my god,” the guy said, having opened the door.

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