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A Bad Idea 115

“Intergalactic immunity,” Melixxandra said, fighting to keep her eyes from rolling at every word (it’d be a ridiculous sight, but merited in this case). “Do you understand the words that I’m saying? Do you need me to say them more slowly? Innnnnn–”

“I understand you,” the cop said.

The two of them sat in an interrogation room. Melixxandra wasn’t handcuffed, but she did feel like a criminal. How many hours had she been here? Ten? Twelve? Fifteen? Still, she was taking things much better than her intern, Olivia.

Olivia explained to another officer, in the interrogation room next to the one where they kept Melixxandra, “Look, jobs are hard to come by. Way I see it, internships means I’m temporarily poor instead of forever poor, yeah? I mean, I don’t really like Melixxandra, but there are a lot of things I don’t like. Poverty? One of my biggest pet peeves. A big no-no, and that’s putting it lightly.”

The cop interrogating Olivia sighed, leaning over the desk and looking her in the eye. “Are you meaning to tell me you took an internship with an alien warlord?”

“Yeah,” Olivia said. “How else do you expect me to pay for college?”

“Well,” the cop said, scratching his big white moustache. “Back in my day I pumped soda over at the local soda fountain! Yessiree, those were some good times.”

“That’s such a typical old white guy thing to say,” Olivia said, brimming with fear but also now a little bit of anger, “Do you know how much college costs now? Soda fountains don’t even exist anymore! They’re not even a thing!”

Things, meanwhile, continued going poorly back over where Melixxandra was getting interviewed.

“We’re done here.” Melixxandra stood up.

“Ma’am,” the police officer said.

“Or start an interplanetary incident,” Melixxandra said, “see if I care.” The police officer didn’t say anything, so she smiled. “I expect my intern and Golden Man to be returned to me, as well.”

She had plans for him. After the way these cops had treated her — after she’d forgiven earth for killing her (admittedly shit) husband? Oh, she would cause havoc on this world.

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