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A Bad Idea 105

Superfreak, like a douche, wore his newly-purchased sunglasses indoors. He stood in the super-long line at Bagels And, Boca’s #1 bagel shop. Scratched his chin. He didn’t have a beard, exactly, but there was a couple day’s worth of stubble there.

God, why had he decided to become a hippie? He’d showered, like, twice in the past week.

The line inched forward, and he moved with it.

He decided he should shave once a day. He was an adult now (oh god) and that meant shaving sometimes, right? He’d tye-dyed so many of his shirts, though. Could he afford to go out and buy something a little dressier, a little more adult?

His phone rang. Anne. “Hey, when’s the last time you saw Cat?”

He racked his brain. “Yesterday, before the embassy.”

A pause on the other line.

“You alright?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m alright. Are you alright? You sound,” she said, looking for the proper way to put it, “less stoned.”

“I’m not stoned,” he said, which led the Jewish lady in front of him to turn around and give him a ‘You’re totally stoned aren’t you’ look.

“I’m changing my codename,” he said. “Now you can call me–”

“Nope,” Anne said.


“I said nope.”


“Sorry!” Anne said. “I like you, but I can’t do it! You can’t change your name all the time! Sometimes, yeah sure. Maybe even once a month. But honestly? I haven’t even known you for a month, and you’ve changed your name three times.”


“Do you want to become like Millipede?”

“Who’s Millipede?”

“Exactly! Call me if you find her, alright?” Anne said. She hung up.

He sighed, putting the phone back in his pocket. When he got to the front of the line, he still wasn’t sure exactly what he wanted. WWMDD? he asked himself. What Would Miles Davis Do?

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