“It’s my wife,” George said, hands on the steering wheel, “my wife, you see–”
“Your wife told you to kidnap me?” Cat asked.
“No. Not really. Can we stop calling it a kidnapping?”
Cat rolled her eyes. “What you do you want to call it?”
George let the question simmer in his head for a bit. Then he said, “I let you take off the gag.”
“Oh, thanks.” Cat’s voice dripped with so much sass it wasn’t even funny. Well, maybe it was a little funny. “Thank you, Master. Oh, Benevolent–”
“I get it,” George cut in. “I messed up.”
“Have you been drinking?” Cat asked.
“Your breath smells like alcohol.” George didn’t say anything, so Cat continued, “A drunk man kidnapped me?”
At this point, Cat considered jumping out of the car — she probably would’ve earlier, but George was obviously incompetent and she was having fun with the sense of disbelief he managed to imbue her with. Plus, the car was on the highway, so the plan seemed… oh, I don’t know… It seemed like a…
*takes deep breath*
A Bad Idea?
“I need you to pretend to be a butler,” George blurted, trying to change the subject while saying what he needed to say.
For probably the first time in the conversation, it was Cat who had to stop and think about what she wanted to say. Finally, she came up with the somewhat obvious question, “Why?”
“Maid,” George said. “You’re a woman, so I guess you couldn’t be a butler.”
“No, seriously. Why?”
“Because The Golden Man was supposed to be my new butler.”
“Oh, you were the…” Cat stopped mid-sentence, unable to even believe this guy. “Wow.”
“I need a help person, or my wife’ll kill me.”
Cat thought of how desperate this guy was, and how much money could be made from desperate people.
“Butler,” she said.
“I’ll do it, but I don’t want to be a maid, I want to be a butler.” She failed to mention she liked the sound of butler because it had the sound of the word ‘butt’ right there in the title.
“I’ll do it for a week,” Cat said. “Then I escape, but at least your wife’ll think you actually managed to get someone.”
“Whew, can’t believe you’d do this for me.” George chuckled.
“Don’t get me wrong,” Cat said. “This is going to cost you.”