Though Anne didn’t know it, the wedding she’d walked in on had been a long time coming.
It’d all started in 1964, 51 years ago, when Louis Wright had gotten so drunk that he crawled into a man’s closet.
You see, he’d come to the party of one Matthew Stevens, a renowned playboy on whom the newspaper had placed a variety of labels: lothario, boulevardier, Casanova, Don Juan, man-about-town, bon vivant, eligible bachelor. It’s funny how many words there are in the English language referring to sex-crazed rich men, isn’t it?
Anyway, Matthew Stevens had been sneaking into his mansion after a long night of crime fighting, hoping the party that he’d had to sneak away from had stopped. It had. His faithful manservant, Manfred (British names. What’s that about?), had made sure that everyone got home.
Everyone, that is, except one Louis Wright. Louis had gotten so drunk that he’d crawled into Matthew’s closet, thinking that it was a bathroom. Manfred, who clearly hadn’t gone to enough parties, was entirely unable to fathom why someone would be in the closet. So he hadn’t thought to check.
So Matthew, who was in the bedroom right outside his closet, felt safe while sneaking into the room with his superhero costume on. Of course, he was actually in the closet, because he was a closeted gay man, but he wasn’t in the closet in the sense that Louis was in the closet, which is to say that Louis was physically in Matthew’s closet. The situation was further complicated by the fact that Louis was also in the closet, not only physically, but homosexually.
So there was Louis: a not-out gay man, who was in Matthew’s closet. And there was Matthew: a not-out gay man, who was not in the closet, even though it belonged to him.
To make a long story short, Matthew took off his mask and opened his closet, Louis looked up and was like, “Whoa,” and Louis eventually started fighting crime with Matthew.
Matthew realized Louis was gay pretty early on, because Louis’s superhero outfit consisted mainly of a speedo and a cape. It didn’t take Louis much longer to catch on, since Matthew had a boner every time he looked at Louis’s speedo.
So the two fell in love, while fighting crime. They retired, moved to Boca, and led happy lives. Since gay marriage had finally gotten legalized in Florida, they’d thrown a wedding.
This was the same wedding that Anne had just walked into.