8 Comments

Zombie Boner Prostitute Heck Yeah!

Leo thought about the sun. He thought about how lucky he was to still be alive — to have skin that didn’t slough off and leave his muscles exposed under the sunlight.

To tell you the truth, Leo had a bit of a boner right now. Thinking about dead skin often did that to him.

He blushed, rushing through the hotel lobby. A manager glared at him, probably distressed by the blushing boner-man who raced through the lobby.

Trying to make things less awkward, Leo waved at the manager. But that didn’t make things less awkward at all. Being waved at by a man with a boner was rarely comforting.

No matter. As soon as he stepped into the elevator, Leo cast the even out of his mind, thinking instead about what awaited him in room 703: a very handsome man. Hopefully, that man also had a boner. If, during sex, one man had a boner and the other man didn’t, that was almost always a bad sign.

Leo stood before room 703. He took a deep breath, then knocked on the door.

A zombie answered the door. He stood there, looking coquettishly at Leo.

“I’ve been expecting you,” the zombie said.

“Yes,” Leo responded. “Yeah, uhuh. That makes sense. Uh, here. Take my money.”

The zombie smirked, taking the hundred dollar bill and stuffing it into his G-string. He turned away from the door, moving through his living room and into the bedroom. Leo closed the door, made sure to lock it, and followed.

The zombie’s butt cheeks were incredible. Leo gazed at them in awe as he entered the bedroom.

The zombie slipped out of the G-string, a bit of skin sloughing off as he did so.

“Ooh,” Leo said. “I like the way you decompose.”

The zombie didn’t blush, since walking out of the casket during his own funeral had been embarrassing enough. Nothing could embarrass him like that, these days.

Leo moved in. The zombie lay there, naked member out in the open.

“I want you to fuck my brains out,” Leo whispered into the zombie’s ear.

The zombie thought that the pun was dreadful, but they had sex anyway. The guy had paid, after all.

If you liked this story, you might like the humorous gay antics of Kinda Super Gay.

Advertisements

8 comments on “Zombie Boner Prostitute Heck Yeah!

  1. As a fan of “The Walking Dead” I had a hard time making this jive as all i could see was the zombie eating Leo’s brains out, but it made me laugh.

    Like

  2. The comedy of the beginning seemed to come very naturally to you. Good job!

    Like

  3. “I like the way you decompose.” Bahahaha, omg, zombie pick up lines.

    Like

    • Leo spent hours practicing lines in the mirror. Among the ones he didn’t use: “Did you like being buried? ‘Cause I want to get you dirty all over again,” and “Are you from Tennessee? ‘Cause you’re a zombie. Wait, that’s not–”

      Poor Leo is so very awkward.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: